Jane, You Ignorant Slut

So, Uh, What the Hell, Right?

dan — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 05:36:43 +0000

Dan says…

Where’d we go? For those of you still checking, I wanna give you the Reader’s Digest version of what happened with the site and what the future holds for this little diamond in the rough.

So. What happened. Why haven’t there been any new posts in forever and why is Jane blurry.

Hmm. I think the safest explanation is to say there was a difference of opinion. One that was large enough that it could not be bridged.

So why am I the one talking to you now and not Jane? Another good question. You’re so smart with the questions, really. Well, here’s the short answer: Every expense for the site came from my pocket and I wrote every character of code for the theme and did all photoshopping of all graphics and photographs and hosted the site on my server. So when Jane and I parted ways, I kept the domain.

Is the site dead? Will there ever be new posts here? More excellent questions. And again I’m just gonna offer the short version of my answer.

The site was left up for a reason. I still love the concept. But it is clearly on life support right now. But in the coming months when I have more time, I want to do some surgery on the site that is SO not covered by insurance, and see if we can’t make JYIS live again. Better. Faster. Stronger. *Bababababababa sound from $6M Man*

But don’t hold your breath. I already have way too many irons in the fire to give this any attention right now. But leave the feed in your reader. When I have any announcements? You’ll be the first to know.

-Dan

Just Sit Right Back and You’ll Hear a Tale…

Jane — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 12:44:54 +0000

A Tale of a Fateful Trip…

QUICK.

If you were to be stranded on a desert island what ten things would you want to have with you? (Assuming a water supply and some kind of food source.)

ipod with everything imaginable on it including the musical equivalent of the cyanide capsule, My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas, in case I couldn’t take it anymore.
industrial sized drum of Dr. Bronner’s soap
I’m thinking I’m not going to get a way with counting a subscription to People Magazine as one thing, so…maybe the Norton Anthology of British Literature, the one with the tissue thin pages – multi-purpose, you know.
a big ass knife
George Clooney. What? Why not?
I guess saying Diet Pepsi would be really short-sighted and silly, but honest to god, it’s what I’m thinking of right now.
shoes – not Jimmy Choos, but practical, wear around the coral reef shoes.
fire, and lots of it
sunscreen, especially now that I’ve got The Cancer
something warm and weatherproof to wear, preferably in pink, bright pink. You never know when the paparazzi might turn up. Do they make Gortex, fur lined Snuggies?

Um, Jane?

This is a deserted island. Clooney would make it decidedly undeserted. Desserted, maybe.

Anyway, my list:

A laminated picture of my family
Laminated dirty picture of my wife
iPod loaded with every Lost and Gilligan’s Island episode
Bag of weed with the seeds in it
Pack of Bic lighters
Voltmeter
Tattooing equipment
Set of Ginsu knives
Wilson brand volleyball
Tuxedo

P.S. Jane: cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

Save a Pelican – Dunk Sarah in the Gulf

Jane — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:06:44 +0000

Jane says…

Here’s what Sarah Palin said about who is responsible for the oil spill in the gulf:

“With [environmentalists'] nonsensical efforts to lock up safer drilling areas, all you’re doing is outsourcing energy development, which makes us more controlled by foreign countries, less safe, and less prosperous on a dirtier planet. Your hypocrisy is showing. You’re not preventing environmental hazards; you’re outsourcing them and making drilling more dangerous.

Extreme deep water drilling is not the preferred choice to meet our country’s energy needs, but your protests and lawsuits and lies about onshore and shallow water drilling have locked up safer areas. It’s catching up with you. The tragic, unprecedented deep water Gulf oil spill proves it.”

Sarah Palin is a clown. A stupid clown. Not even a fun, non-threatening, balloon animal making clown, but a scary, dumb, John Wayne Gacy clown.

Because environmentalists argue against drilling in environmentally fragile and valuable ecosystems like the Arctic Wildlife Refuge, oil companies are FORCED to engage in deep water drilling and are FORCED, at gunpoint, I believe, by tree hugging vegan environmentalists weilding Kalashnikovs (commies, you know) to install faulty equipment and violate safety standards and claim massive profits. Those nutty, lying, freedom-hatin’ environmentalists are responsible for BP’s 760 safety violations citations. Apparently, the environmentalists were asleep at the switch or else their resources were spread to thin to attack all the oil companies at once, because Exxon has had 1 safety violation citation in the same time period.

Listen up, clownlady. Less yammering on about the poor oppressed oil companies suffering at the hands of greedy environmentalists, more talk about renewable, non-polluting sources of energy. You can’t be a leader, in whatever bizarro incarnation you are hoping to become, if you can’t offer solutions.

…but Dan thinks…

Jane and I aren’t always on opposite sides of an issue. True story.

Take today, for example. I’m pretty sure if you were to ask an environmentalist (a person for whom the term “nutbag” also comes to mind for me), they’d tell you they want cars to run on rainbows and sunshine.

Not oil from the sand.

Not a well on the land.

Not oil obtained using a bore.

Even when it came from way off shore.

I read the Sarah Palin quote indirectly blaming environmentalists for the BP rig explosion and subsequent unabated oil leak, and I’m reminded of a fight I broke up between my kids yesterday. You see, there was a spider on my son’s arm. So he hit my daughter.

Makes perfect sense, right?

I don’t hang out in the Self Improvement section at the local Barnes & Noble, but I’ve dabbled in Tony Robbins. I think Sarah should meet Tony. First, because he could hold her and squeeze her and pet her and love her like a little Daffy Duck (Tony’s ENORMOUS). But second, he could tell her that everyone’s responsible for their own actions/reactions. That you can’t blame someone else for the way you behave. Your behavior, a 3 year old punching his older sister or an oil company operating in a dangerous manner and not having plans prepared for swift intervention should something go wrong, is on you. Your fault. Nobody else’s. That’s the education my son got, and it’s the education I’d give BP and Sarah Palin. Childish for either to think otherwise. But my son’s three, so I cut him some slack. Palin I would totally spank for what she said. And not in the good way. (Ok, maybe in the good way.)

And here’s the other thing. There’s a finite quantity of oil in the ground. Even if you put everything else aside – the oil leak, combustion engines causing harm to Earth’s atmosphere, the pollution of ground water, etc? It’s still a finite resource. One day there won’t be anymore of it. And we need that oil to make plastic. You know, the mouse to your right? The frame of the monitor you’re reading this on? The thing you use when uh, your husband’s not around? Plastic, plastic, plastic.

We can fuel our daily travels on something other than petroleum, but I’ll be damned if we don’t need plastic as much as a diabetic needs syringes full of insulin (which are also made from plastic!).

Sarah. Sweetie. I’ll never be a member of your double entendre party, but I like to consider myself a conservative on many issues. You make it embarrassing for me to admit that in public.

You’re trying to assign liberal blame to everything, everywhere, and it makes you look either nutbag crazy, party blind or just plain old stupid.

What’s the Postage on This Stamp?

dan — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:00:35 +0000

Podcast

The use of ink to adorn the human body has been practiced for thousands of years. Tattoos can serve as declarations of love, as a rite of passage or inclusion into a higher status in a tribe or even a gang, as a form of punishment or as simple adornment.

In today’s podcast, Dan and Jane tackle one form of tattoo, disaffectionately called the tramp stamp. A little fluffery for your Wednesday.

Audio gadget not working? You can download the file here. Just click!

NASA Saved Your Boobs, So You Kinda Owe Them

dan — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 12:00:37 +0000

Dan says…

Yesterday the space shuttle Atlantis returned from it’s final mission before being retired. The remaining two shuttles in NASA’s fleet, Endeavor and Discovery, will be flying their final missions later this year.

After that? In six months? The United States will not have a single vehicle capable of taking humans into space. If US astronauts want to go into space after that, they’ll have to either drink the cyanide-flavored Kool-Aid and wait for Hale-Bopp to come around again, or hitch a ride on a Russian rocket.

Why? President Obama is scrapping Constellation, NASA’s program to succeed the shuttle program for manned space flight. High costs and changing priorities were his primary reasons.

But in the same breath he also said he’s committing $1.2 billion MORE dollars to the space program annually, over the current budget, and that he hopes that funding will help to create more jobs.

Well, sorta.

Some of that money is earmarked to help get the private sector up to speed on building spaceships. Uh, right. For less than a billion a year (not all of the money is destined for the private sector), President Obama expects the private sector to be able to design, build, test and deliver spacecraft that will be cheaper and safer than what NASA, a huge collection of the smartest people on the planet, with a much larger budget, can do.

Kind of like farming out the military budget to the local militias.

President Obama thinks we shouldn’t bother going to the moon again, and I kind of agree. We’ve been there. Six times. We’re the only country to ever have done it. However, the Constellation program was about building craft and developing technologies capable of sending humans to Mars. The moon was sort of supposed to be practice. Work the kinks out before the family truckster gets all gassed up for the really big trip. By scrapping the moon and Constellation, he’s effectively pushing a manned mission to Mars out well beyond the 2030’s, as he speculates, beyond the time that he’d “expect to be around to see it happen.”

Mars is doable, peeps. Robert Zubrin, one of space exploration’s bigger brainiacs, wrote a book in 1997 titled The Case for Mars (which I’ve read, twice), that lays out several ingenious, low-cost, efficient ways to get people to and from Mars with some regularity. $20-30 billion, from blueprints to sandy Mars footprints.

Obama’s right, though. Times are different. After all the financial giveaways and lingering shitbowl economy, money’s tight. And NASA’s expensive. NASA’s budget this year is $19 billion, and on average, $10 billion of that would go to the Constellation program for the next ten years. With Constellation scrapped, it’d free up most (not all) of that money to go toward other priorities Obama outlined, including upgrades to the Kennedy Space Center, the successor to the Hubble telescope, and unmanned missions deeper into space. All worthy objectives. But it ain’t Mars.

And b-b-b-billions spent on space is a lot of money, without question. Until you compare it to t-t-t-trillions. The national budget for 2010 is about $3.6 trillion. Of that, $1,700 billion is spent on social programs. Is another few billion siphoned from NASA really going to help the American condition?

Anyway, what does NASA do to help us in our daily lives? I mean, what does having men and women in space do for us, other than provide a library worth of video of guys in blue jumpsuits gobbling up floating m&m’s?

Well? You like boobs, right? Men like ‘em. Women like to keep ‘em, not losing them or their lives to breast cancer. Well? NASA SAVES boobs. Mammograms? Biopsies that don’t require massive breast resection just to get a tissue sample? That came from the imaging technologies developed for Earth-orbit telescopes.

And there’s In-home water purification. And rain water purification for developing countries.

Satellite radio and GPS systems.

Cordless tools.

Medical devices.

Fire-resistant materials.

Smoke detectors.

The list is really, really long.

And the technologies developed to get man to Mars will only add to that list. Better insulation technologies. Better heating technologies. Think of all the tech required to turn a vast desert into a somewhat hospitable place for humans to set up shop. That kind of tech can absolutely be translated to helping us Earthbound brethren in solving infrastructure challenges in underdeveloped countries, not to mention our own homes.

Obama claims the $6 billion (over 5 years) he’s adding to NASA’s budget is going to result in more jobs. And he’s right, in a robbing Peter to pay Paul kind of way. The 7,000 people estimated to be jobless as a result of the retirement of the space shuttle fleet and the cancellation of Constellation will be looking for jobs, and some of them may even find new jobs at NASA or in the private sector with that additional funding.

But probably not all of them. So no, it’s not going to result in NEW new jobs, just the re-employment of some of the people who used to have jobs.

Manned spaceflight is important. It forces our best and brightest to find solutions for problems we didn’t know needed addressing, and so far in NASA’s 50 year history, that’s resulted in tangible improvements to the daily lives of Americans and people less fortunate the world over. All of that makes manned spaceflight worth the investment.

The added pride, the celebration of the achievement of humanity, and the re-establishment of the United States as the pre-eminent leader in all things outerworldly (because China, Russia, India and Japan are all working toward manned moon missions in the next ten years)? That’s gravy. Everyone loves gravy.

…but Jane thinks…

If NASA engineering had gone into the construction of the now famous “blowoff preventer,” instead of Halliburton’s for-profit manufactured and seriously faulty work, the Gulf of Mexico might not currently be soaked in oil. The list of innovations and creative applications of technology afforded all of us because of NASA’s work is staggering. There is no question in my mind that as far as government agencies go, NASA has its act together more than most. Nevertheless, pursuing space exploration further at this time would be an irresponsible use of resources.

One of the critics of Obama’s “anemic” new space exploration budget, James Logsdon (professor emeritus at George Washington University’s Space Policy Institute and author of “The Decision to Go to the Moon: Project Apollo and the National Interest) said this in a round table discussion on the topic: ” The principal benefits from human spaceflight are intangible, but nevertheless substantial. The moon missions of the ’60s instilled in Americans a sense of “international prestige and national pride’…”

You know what else instills a sense of international prestige and national pride? Not having an economy on par with a third world banana republic on the eve of a drug cartel supported coup. Know what else? Not mucking up the planet to such a degree that we have to claim responsibility for the extinction of species, holes in the ozone layer, air and water pollution, and the squandering of precious natural resources.

There’s no reason why the innovations that have resulted from space exploration programs needs to come to a grinding halt. Our scientific capabilities allow for simulations of space travel that can yield tremendous benefits. The potential job losses due to the cutbacks in funding are as yet unknown; so many private companies are already massive contributers of parts, services, labor, and support to the space program, that it would be specious to imply, as some have (not Dan) that the entire population of space program associated employees of NASA will soon be out on the streets, pink slips in hand.

And, as Esther Dyson pointed out, “The U.S. Defense Department may have created the Internet, but had it kept control of the technology, it’s unlikely the Web would have become the vibrant public resource it is today. That credit goes to the investment and activity of private citizens and private companies, starting in the late 1980s and early 1990s.”

Exploration of space is cool. No doubt about it. Far more little kids go to bed at night dreaming of riding in a rocket to Mars than drift off contemplating their glorious futures as inventors of non-polluting, clean energy sources. But right now, we have bigger fish to fry (New! Pre-oiled for your convenience!). Beyond merely being cool, space exploration should be a goal for many of the reasons Dan cited. But until we’ve managed to secure our borders from people who wish to do us harm, protect and preserve our planet and its most fragile and defenseless inhabitants, clean up the already more than 6,000 satellites already launched and junking up the stratosphere as well as the debris from prior launches, explosions, and spacecraft breakdowns, steady and grow our economy, and provide for the educational, nutritional, and healthcare needs of all of our own citizens, it’s a luxury we can’t afford. And as for inhabiting Mars? Let’s prove that we can manage the planet we’ve already got before we go and screw up another one.

Condoms for Children

dan — Fri, 14 May 2010 04:27:09 +0000

Podcast

A swiss company has begun manufacturing and marketing a condom targeted to 12-14 year old boys, called the Hotshot. Jane loves the idea. Dan hates it. Have a listen and decide for yourself.

Audio gadget not working? You can download the file here. Just click!

You can read more about the story here.

Benevolent Neglect or Parent of the Year?

Jane — Tue, 11 May 2010 20:33:56 +0000

Jane says…

In the last few weeks, in response to various heinous mommy crimes I’ve committed, I have been the recipient of The Look. You know…The Look that is part raised eyebrow, part firm set of mouth, and part slight head tilt? The Look that says, “You are a bad parent.”

1) I let my elementary school aged son read all the Diary of A Wimpy Kid books. Apparently the books are so subversive that my 8 year old is now going to be forever corrupted. OR maybe it’s just superfantastic with me that the kid is reading of his own volition books that accurately depict the kind of frustration all kids feel because life seems arbitrary and out of their control. So either my kid is screwed from the word go because I don’t censor his reading or he’s learning to love reading for pleasure and is discovering one of the great joys of literature – learning about the universalities of the human condition. Besides, if he doesn’t get used to books about middle schoolers acting snotty, how’s he going to handle American Psycho, which I just ordered for him off Amazon?

2) Same kid: not in a booster seat. The law is 8 or 80 lbs. Neither of my kids is going to weigh 80 lbs. until college at the rate they’re going; they are skinny little buggers. Just like the knowledge of what the evolving power of a certain Pokemon may be or that the art teacher is actually a witch, the law governing when a kid is liberated from the confines of a car seat is popular playground conversation. That boy woke up the morning of his 8th birthday and the first words out of his mouth were, “I don’t have to sit in a car seat anymore!!!!” And I totally get that. It’s a rite of passage. Less significant than, say, a bar mitzvah or first misdemeanor arrest, but it counts. Anyway, I got the full-on Look for that one. As though I were riding around town on a Ducati with the kid balancing on the handlebars all the time because really in actuality I’ve only done that three or four times. Plus. If you’re reading this and you are over 22? Chances are you didn’t sit in a car seat for most of your childhood and yet, you seem to be fine.

3) My daughter eats one fruit or vegetable a day. And sometimes that “fruit” comes in the form of a roll up. “If you just serve it to her and don’t give her anything else until she eats it, eventually she’ll get hungry enough and then she’ll discover she likes it.” Nice try, Mommy Nazi. You know not whereof you speak. For one thing, my daughter would starve herself just to give you the metaphorical finger if you tried to make her eat anything she didn’t want to. For another thing, if you’d like to come live in my house during her adolescence after I’ve allowed my darling, perfectionist, control-freak, genius monkeychild to turn food into a battleground, be my guest. I’m picking my fights, and this isn’t one of them. Besides, she might only weigh 41 lbs, but dollars to donuts (because, hell, she’ll eat those – unless they have jelly in them because jelly is fruit-like) my 6 year old could hold her own in a fair fight with Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Girlfriend is fierce.

4) My husband and I went for a run and left them home alone. This one got me the full two eyebrows up and mouth formed into an “O” whilst air was sucked in audibly. That’s right. I left them home alone for half an hour. Oh. My. God. And when I think of all those times that child predators and violent rapist Jehovah’s Witnesses came to the house and tried to get in and maul my children only to be stopped by me at the door saying, “Sorry! Mommy’s here! Go away, please!” it’s a miracle they survived the experience. Get a grip, people, would you? They know the cell phone number (and for the love of god they called me three times in that half hour span mostly to bitch about the fact that they were fighting over the remote) and aren’t incapacitated or clueless enough not to get to the neighbors if they needed anything that very moment.

5) And speaking of cellphones…I dropped one of the anklebiters off for a playdate the other day and the mother came chasing after me as I backed out of the driveway, “Wait! Wait! I need your cellphone number in case of emergency! And you didn’t tell me if she had any food allergies!” It’s a miracle that the entire adult population in the world today made it past age 11. Our parents didn’t have cellphones, yet miraculously, adults responsible for our care when we were away from home managed to not kill us without the ability to reach out and touch someone. And the food allergy thing is getting out of control. If my kid had a fatal allergy to something, do you think I might have forgotten to mention it? Or even, that I might have taught my little sweetpea not to eat the DeathFood? I got a notice from kindergarten at this year telling me that a kid in the class was allergic to, I shit you not, snow peas and shitake mushrooms, so I shouldn’t send those things in for snack. Damn it! I was totally planning on sending in snowpea and shitake mushroom smoothies laced with vodka and Xanax for my daughter every day.

6) Next year, my third grade son and my first grade daughter will be walking home from school. On their own. I got The Look for this plan, too. Because do I not know?? Am I not aware??? Walking home from school with crosswalks, crossing guards, and the busiest of busybody neighbors and parents all around them is akin to shooting them each out of a cannon over shark infested waters. I walked to and from school, with the neighbor kids, starting in first grade. And every day after that until my parents finally tired of my shenanigans and sent me off to boarding school where god only knows I did far more dangerous stuff than cross the street without someone holding my hand.

Here’s what I do worry about: the stuff that is actually dangerous, like head injuries from not wearing a helmet while biking, not knowing how to swim, and trying to pull a strange dog’s tail. Children are no more in danger of abduction or predation now than they were 20 and 30 years ago. Violent crime in this country is on the decline. My daughter will not get scurvy. If my kid hurts herself or gets sick during a playdate, I’m sure that the adult supervising her will figure out that a phone call to information will reveal magical information like my home phone number or, barring that, a doctor’s phone number, or perish the thought, 911. If I don’t have faith that my kids can learn how to walk 1/3 mile in broad daylight down the sidewalk from school to home, how on earth do I expect them to learn the really important stuff, like not to mix liquor and beer. Oh lighten up…you know what I mean.

…but Dan thinks…

Before I get into the topic at hand, I want to make sure a few things are made clear to our audience. First and foremost, I don’t want some of the things Jane said above to be interpreted as a disengaged parent rationalizing her sometimes “hands off” style. Jane is very handsy. I mean, if you check here and here and even here (and even the crutches to Haiti thing she helped her kids do, that she never mentions to anyone unless she has to), it’s clear that she’s engaged.

She’s not nibbling on Ho-hos, wearing a wife-beater, watching Springer. For better or worse, there needs to be no mistake – her parenting choices were not the result of the search for a path of least resistance. They were conscious choices.

Jane and I, just in the course of the many phone conversations we’ve had, have talked about our kids loads of times. She thinks I’m too protective, but she stops short of calling me a helicopter parent.

And she’s taken my breath away with the stories she’s recounted for me of the freedoms she gives her kids. The examples she gave above are among the many I’m aware of, and are perfect for this discussion.

Leaving your children home alone. Our house is so hard to find that the only trick-or-treater we’ve EVER had at our house in six years was an employee of mine bringing over his daughter at the last minute. People can’t find us when they WANT to find us. If we left our kids alone, doors open, invitations at the end of the driveway for criminals to stop over, nothing would happen. But we still don’t leave them alone.

It’s not the criminals I’m afraid of. How many of you have young children that choke on their food with any regularity? Do your kids know how to do the Heimlich maneuver? Even if Jane’s kids knew it, they’re tiny. They could probably Heimlich a photograph of a child, but not a living, breathing one. So if Jane’s out on a run and one of the kids is at home, choking? Nobody gets there in time to prevent brain death. Apply the same logic to stairs. Swingsets. Household chemicals. Gasoline. Power tools.

I won’t even address the food, because I know there’s no convincing Jane. Here’s what I know – It takes SuperNanny half an hour, once a week to get someone’s kids eating the right foods and behaving. And she pronounces her th’s like f’s. It can’t be fhat hard.

Jane’s right about car seats. All of the kids who didn’t die in car accidents and grew up to be healthy adults and are reading this blog are probably thinking – what’s the big deal? Well? 6,000 kids die every year in traffic accidents. Seat belts didn’t used to be mandatory years ago, either. Those rules and laws aren’t put in place to make height-challenged kids feel like shit, they’re there because there’s empirical evidence that they save lives. Jane is risking safety for what she hopes is a future reward of independence or confidence (that is tied to a seat in a car, which is not unlike wearing the hot jeans or the cool kicks, but that’s another discussion about esteem for another time).

Jane makes her kids wear dorky helmets while skiing. Who dies skiing, other than that one famous chick and Sonny Bono? Being safe in a car, where 6,000 kids a year lose their lives, seems valid enough a reason to make the kid endure another year of a booster chair.

Last week I took the younger of our two dogs in to be euthanized. We had about a day or so to prepare our children. We didn’t sugarcoat. We didn’t say he was going to take a nap. Or be delivered to a place where he could run with other dogs. We said the word: die. Mortality is pretty heavy, especially for a little kid. I won’t pretend to know anything about Wimpy and his books that Jane’s son is reading. American Psycho? I don’t know that I’d choose it for my kids, at that age, but if he’s mature enough to handle it and not end up bringing artwork like this home from school, then I don’t see the harm. It’s far less intrusive on the psyche of a child than the death of a family member, furry or otherwise.

Ultimately, I think parenting is an endless string of gambles. Measurements of risk versus reward. The media with it’s sensational bent makes it hard for people like me to decipher where the real risks are, and the rewards can be so nebulous and distant from today’s in-the-moment parenting decision that I can see how it might cloud my judgment, opting for safety right now (don’t climb the big kid monkey bars), possibly at the expense of some additonal fraction of self-confidence later (don’t march into the boss’s office and demand a raise).

I think Jane takes some unnecessary risks. I’m sure she thinks I take unnecessary precautions. The problem is, we won’t know who was right for another 15 years.

So Sinful It Should Be Taxed

dan — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 10:00:25 +0000

Podcast

The city of Philadelphia wants to charge it’s residents a “sin” tax on soda. Dan thinks that’s ridiculous, will only result in other foodstuff taxes, and could lead to the government deciding what you put in your body. Jane thinks soda only has the potential to harm, from leaching calcium from bones to causing obesity. With the city in need of revenue, Jane thinks this is a great way to generate that revenue.

Have a listen. Then let us know what you think (by voting and/or commenting).

Warning (again): Dan’s potty mouth got the better of him again in this podcast. If detonating F-bombs frighten you, you may not want to listen.

Audio gadget not working? You can download the file here. Just click!

Below is Jane, paying the nickel in sin tax Dan assessed her for eating a Rice Krispy treat during the podcast.

Dan’s note: Dan wasn’t actually naked during the taping of the intro to this podcast. He was outside, in front of a warm fire, smoking a cigar. But he was fully clothed.

Dan’s New Blog

dan — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 19:50:35 +0000

Help Dan name the new site!

I’m not getting kicked out of here, but I am looking for a new home.

A lot of the content that I write for this site is fun. It’s racy, a little naughty. Sometimes it’s completely stupid. But most of the things in Dan’s garage, and really, the things Jane writes for See Jane Shop, are diluting the message of the site. Jane says so, so it must be true. (Actually, it’s something, one of the FEW things, we agree on.)

And some of our Garage and Shop posts aren’t viewable on the home page when they’re posted. That’s intentional, but then we were asking ourselves, why write the stuff if only feed subscribers are ever going to read it.

Since Jane already has her own blog, Well Read Hostess, she doesn’t need a new place to vent and opine. But I don’t have a comparable blog. I need a place to let my pants hair down. Air things out. So I’m home shopping.

And I need your help. I need a cool domain name. Something that has “Dan” in it. (DansGarage.com is already taken.)

Can you help me?

Maybe I’ll offer some kind of prize to whoever picks the coolest (available) domain. I’m not sure what yet. But it’ll be awesome and totally worth the effort.

Just comment below for consideration. And thanks for your help!

-Dan

Bullying the Cyber Bullies

dan — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 17:26:45 +0000

Podcast

Dan and Jane discuss the ongoing case of 9 teenagers charged in the suicide death of a classmate. You can read about the story here.

WARNING: Dan says fuck in this one. Kind of a lot. Headphones is what we’re saying, people.

Audio gadget not working? You can download the file here. Just click!

Dan’s note: Dan tells Jane to shut up during this podcast. Dan was using it as a dramatic tool, to try to cajole Jane into taking a firmer stand on an issue. But now Dan feels like a tool for saying it. Dan asked Jane, and Jane said she was OK with leaving it in the podcast. It needs to be clearly noted that Dan has ASSLOADS of respect for Jane (though it appears, not enough to not call it “assloads”), and that Dan in no way meant to demean or diminish Jane’s opinion in the matter. Dan and Jane know each other pretty well, and we call each other names frequently over the phone and in email, and pretty much every other chance we get. So for us, it wasn’t a big deal. But it might be for you, when you hear it. So Dan thought you needed to hear the back story.