Finally Friday

And finally…

I swear that on Thursday nights my spirit is renewed with the joy that comes from making these Finally Friday posts.  Collecting the funny material through the week and disseminating it to you in the hopes I can fill a part of your day with laughter? Beautiful. Either that or my wife has been spiking my OJ with her hormone replacement therapy.*

Without further ado, here’s the last week in weird:

Rhea Roma is Miss Nude Sword Swallower.   (Totally SFW) “I’m an art piece.  You don’t touch the Mona Lisa.”  Yeah, I also don’t touch the wrinkly batter bucket who’s showing off her deep throating skills for an audience.

Whatever you do?  Do NOT kiss on someone else’s kiss.  Hello?  Unsanitary?

Some days?  A straight up trade, two kids for a bird?  I’d take that deal.

Elton John: God doesn’t exist. And Jesus was gay.  Right.   Just shut up and keep bangin on your piano, mmmkay Elvis?

Maybe the reason we can’t see the aliens?  They’re invisible.

Hot chicks with dogs with boners.  Because hot chicks are the new black. They go with EVERYTHING.

One of Saturn’s moons may be hospital to life. Insert “that much closer to Uranus” joke here.

Before I even knew there were the People of Walmart, I snapped this pic on my cell phone.  You can’t really tell, but the guy’s wearing a black leather jacket.   Hair is white and has a coif like the guy from that relgious end of days show that’s on late at night (thanks for nothing, tweeps).  And he’s wearing an enormous silver chain that would even make Mr. T jealous.  If Béla Lugosi, Fitty Cent and that religious news anchor guy were to get in a head-on collision?  This is what it’d look like.

He’s gonna shoot you? Well how big’s his gun, honey?

Something Jane put on my windshield the other day.

And from the funniest damn website I’ve ever seen in the last 72 hours, there was this gem, texts between father and son (courtesy of texts from last night):
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(434): you would not believe what I got pierced last night…

(540): son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.

And from the same site:

(304): I’m thinking of writing “I have herpes” on my stomach in sharpie that way I’m not tempted to show my tits tonight

Good thinking.

To all our visitors, commenters, subscribers, followers and tweeps: Have an awesome weekend.

*kidding!   Wife is not taking hormones and is still very much of fertile mind and body.