You know I’m gonna post about this, right?
February 5th, 20109 comments Posted in Dan's Garage
Setting: Kitchen. Me cleaning up the dinner dishes. Wife helping. Son in family room, playing. Out of sight lines. Daughter in our bedroom. Jumping on bed. Also out of sight lines.
Me: Hey. (pulls down pants, exposing junk to wife.)
My wife: *snicker* (walks past.)
Me: Um that wasn’t the response I was looking for. AGAIN. I swear you never get this one right.
My wife: What exactly did you expect?
Me: What did I expect? When I pulled down my pants? I can tell you that laughter was not was I was shooting for.
Me: Isn’t there a “Woman Code?” You know, “Size doesn’t matter” and you never. laugh. when. your. husband. shows. you. his. dick? Right? I heard there was a code. And that kind of stuff was part of the code. Right? THE CODE?
(long pause)
Me: You know I’m totally blogging about this.
My Wife: Yeah – I think you probably should.
Stuff Other People Said:
Now You Talk
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But be forewarned: if you get nasty, we reserve the right to delete your comment. Unless what you said was really stupid. Then we may just leave it up so people can take target practice. Pa-ching!
Laughing or snickering at a penis in the kitchen? Perfectly acceptable. In fact? Expected. Nothing to do with codes or size, sunshine.
*eyeroll*
I swear. This is my husband blogging. Along with exposing his junk in the kitchen, he also makes lame attempts at copping a feel at the most inappropriate times. Like, when I’m on the toilet, ironing his shirt (HELLO! HOT APPLIANCE!) and flipping over pancakes. What the hell is with you guys? Also? Falling asleep on the couch and then acting hurt and disappointed because I wasn’t willing to have sex when you woke up at 2am and stumbled to the bedroom? LAME.
The Domestic Goddess´s last blog ..Lost in Austen
My real name isn’t associated with this website, is it?
Right. You just about begged me to try to acquire the already taken janeyouignorantslut.com domain. In spite of my protests.
And now you’re queasy about me showing my junk to my wife? You have two kids that you claim to have given birth to, so I have to think you’ve seen a penis before. And the double entendre on WRH is so thick you have to wade through it like the plant floor at the dildo factory the day of the explosion.
So spare me your exaggerated case of the vapors.
No. I’m queasy about you TALKING about showing your junk to your wife.
And queasy isn’t the right word.
Nice touch, by the way, coming back at me with an even cruder reference to the dildo factory. Well done.
Crude?
I guess what I’m saying is you’d better look down – your hypocrite is showing.
Amie?
I now simply MUST know. You read my post. Aside from the comments below it (dildo plant, etc), it was funny. Right?
Throw me a bone here. It’s like 2,200 women against me. Which sometimes? Awesome. But I need someone on my team. Can I count on you? You know, like “Vote for Pedro?” (ask Kristin) Maybe you get a t-shirt out of the deal? Petite small, right?
Dan: I am pretty sure “Jane” has no idea what you are talking about. I certainly don’t. And just exactly what is a dildo again?
Honest to god, Amie. My hardest laugh is at your comment. You rock.